What about when you can't eat your own dog food?

Why am I a teacher? There are several reasons. First and foremost, I'm inspired by all the marvelous teachers I've had. There have been some who were decidedly uninspiring, but I'd say at least half of my teachers were amazing and fantastic. I would like to make that kind of impact on other people's lives.

I also try to be a good person. I'm not religious, but I think we all should leave the planet a better place than we found it. I've cut off my hair twice and donated it to make wigs for children who have cancer. Have you seen the movie “Seven Pounds” with Will Smith? If you haven't, you should. There's a scene where he's getting a big needle jabbed into his hip to harvest stem cells. I've done that. Well, not exactly. I stretched my suffering out for a week beforehand, rather than a week afterwards. I participated in an experimental study where they gave me a series of shots that made me feel really sick but then they could extract the cells they needed from my blood rather than from my marrow. It worked though; my donee was saved with my stem cells :) I feel that teaching is also a way to make the world a better place; a public service, if you will. Raising children is the main goal of society, and a big part of raising our children is educating them.

I freely admit that one of the reasons I went into teaching is because of the security such a profession represents. I was raised with the middle class ideal that said you should seek out a career rather than just a job. Teaching gives me a salary, medical benefits, retirement... That sounds like the definition of a career! Also, I have a responsibility to provide my daughter with a safe, comfortable home and regular feedings. It would also be nice if I could provide basic medical care for her. So the traditional stability of a teaching career is right up my alley.

I really enjoy teaching. I love math and like sharing that with my students. I love those “ah-ha!” moments, and am willing to put in a lot of extra time to help students understand the material. I've been told that I'm a good teacher by impartial observers and (more flatteringly) my friends who have had their children in my class still sing my praises years later as an effective teacher. However... Teaching is not the same job it was when I was in school. Now it's all about the tests, rather than about the learning. Popular culture lionizes pop stars and criminals (often one and the same) and vilifies intelligence. I teach in an area that is very poor. Our students come from families with multiple generations of dropouts. These people do not look upon education as a viable escape from poverty; education is something I do to them rather than something they must actively seek out for themselves. Students are more and more disrespectful because they see less and less value in what I have to offer. Their attitude merely echoes that of the greater American society. People like simple solutions even to very complicated problems. Rather than tackling any of the basic inequities of our society, it is so much easier to blame the teachers. How dare we plan on a cushy life with a regular salary and dental and vision while getting summers off?! Our greed and laziness is clearly the cause of everything this is wrong with today's youth and tomorrow's democracy.

One of my favorite quotes is by Oliver Wendell Holmes. He says, “I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization.” The problem is that many Americans resent their taxes. They want the stuff that taxes purchase, without actually paying for them. They want good roads and firefighters and police and schools and bridges but they resent the hell out of anybody who somehow expects them to pony up the cash that these things actually cost.

The whole purpose of government is twofold. First, governments are how we establish and enforce a code of behavior upon one another. That is what keeps the big monkey from getting all the bananas. Without a system of rules and punishments, our society would revert to “might makes right” instead of “innocent until proven guilty” and other such high-minded ethics.

Secondly, we band together to pool our resources to purchase and accomplish things we cannot do alone. We contribute money and manpower to all the causes that define civilization. A military so other countries can't play “big monkey” with us. Those roads and bridges and schools I mentioned earlier. The frightening thing is that taxes are at an all time low, particularly for the wealthiest among us. Those who have the most to give seem to be the most reluctant to give it. The gap between the wealthiest Americans and the poorest is widening, even as the middle class is shrinking. For the wealthiest individuals, educating their own children, even in ultra-expensive private schools, is pocket change. However, educating all the children of the nation becomes much, much more expensive. And, in general, the ultra-rich are not willing to pay for the education of all “those people's” children. In fact, they don't want their children going to the same school as “those children”. I can see why. The schools that “those children” (MY child!) go to are underfunded to the point of futility. Many of the students don't value education. Why would they want their children to be contaminated with such academic indifference? I don't want my child contaminated with those attitudes, and I come from a middle class, public school background.

I am suffering a major ethical dilemma. I firmly believe in the principle of “Eat your own dog food.” If the product you are producing isn't good enough for you, you shouldn't be selling it. My daughter is ten years old. She is in the fifth grade this year, and will be moving to the middle school next year. Because her elementary school fell into program improvement early, they received federal funds to fix their test scores. One of the nice benefits is that they have a class-size cap of twenty-five students. But next year she is moving to my school. Last year, the class sizes in sixth grade at my school were between thirty-nine and forty-two. Some of the parents are supportive, but many are indifferent. Some of the students are motivated, but many are indifferent, or actively resent the intrusion of their teachers into their social life. This is where I teach. I work hard, as do my colleagues. But I do not want my daughter to go to this school. I don't want her to eat the dog food I am making. So now what?